Annapolis news 

New Mayor and Council meet, Robot Fred Paone Reinstated

Annapolis City Council Returns, Robot Fred Paone Reinstated Mayor Buckley lead the movement to get Paone back on the council Annapolis (SPP) – In a rare and moving scene of bipartisanship, Annapolis Mayor Gavin Buckley lead the charge to have Alderman Fred Paone, the council’s only Republican, restored to the Annapolis City Council last night. Paone, who was first elected in 2013 and then reelected in 2017, was expelled from the City Council late last month after it was revealed that he was actually a robot. According to the then…

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Annapolis celebrity news 

Jimmy Buffett in Annapolis Today, Got Parking Ticket

Jimmy Buffett in Annapolis Today, Got Parking Ticket Vowed “Dark Song of Revenge” About City Annapolis (SPP) – Jimmy Buffett was in Annapolis today to enjoy some of the local food and to watch the Lights Parade. But after he received a parking ticket this afternoon, he angrily left town. “I couldn’t find any parking on Main Street,” Buffett complained, “so I had to park in one of the nearby neighborhoods. I saw the sign that said I could only park for two hours, so after sitting at O’Brien’s eating…

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Annapolis news Uncategorized 

Gavin Buckley Proposes “Trip Room” at Pip Moyer Rec Center

Gavin Buckley Proposes “Trip Room” at Pip Moyer Rec Center Mayor-elect credits illegal drugs with turning his life around Annapolis (SPP) – Mayor-elect Gavin Buckley really surprised everyone today when he proposed adding a “trip room” to the City-owned Pip Moyer Recreational Center. The Center serves as a gym and meeting place for city residents, but Buckley believes that residents, especially city officials, could benefit from having a room where they can safely use psychedelic drugs. “Psychedelics saved my life,” Buckley explained. “Twenty years ago I was coked out of…

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Annapolis news Uncategorized 

Mayor-elect Gavin Buckley Proposes Importing Kangaroos into Annapolis

Mayor-elect Gavin Buckley Proposes Importing Kangaroos into Annapolis Genetically Modified Animals Would be Auctioned off to Perform Jobs Annapolis (SPP) – Mayor-elect Gavin Buckley appeared downtown today with a furry friend, a live kangaroo, to promote his latest plan to improve the quality of life for all Annapolitans. Dubbed Operation Hippety Hopper, Buckley proposed that the city import kangaroos from Australia. Not normal kangaroos, but genetically modified ones that would be able to do basic tasks, such as serving drinks or carrying a rickshaw. Last year at the University of…

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Annapolis news 

Alderman Fred Paone Exposed as a Robot

Alderman Fred Paone Exposed as a Robot Sole Republican on the Council Actually Died in 2012 Annapolis (SPP) – Bad news for Republicans in Annapolis after it was revealed today that Alderman Fred Paone (Rep.) is a robot and thus ineligible to serve on the Annapolis City Council. The City Charter specifies that only living humans may hold office. This first came to light last night at the Annapolis Hanukkah Bush lighting when Paone, who was in the crowd, started to malfunction and fell to the ground. He was initially…

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Annapolis news 

John Astle Tweets Then Deletes Disturbing Posts

John Astle Tweets Then Deletes Disturbing Posts Many calling Tweets “unhinged” and “racist” Annapolis, (SPP) – State Senator and failed Democratic Mayoral Primary candidate may be nursing a sore hangover this morning. Astle, spotted last night at his favorite restaurant in Annapolis, Osteria 177, was spotted heavily drinking and was also seen playing with his Blackberry in the early morning hours. It seems that the retiring State Senator has some angry feelings about the out of control crime in Annapolis. Below are his Tweets that were deleted in the middle…

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Annapolis news 

Annapolis Replaces Christmas Tree With Hanukkah Bush

Annapolis Replaces Christmas Tree With Hanukkah Bush Mayor-Elect Buckley promises even more diversity next year Annapolis (SPP) – Old traditions usually die hard, but not this year. Outgoing Mayor Mike Pantelides surprised everyone by approving a plan to have the annual City Christmas tree replaced with a Hanukkah Bush. Speaking to reporters, Pantelides said, “Yeah, I really like the blue and white colors. I know that they are supposed to represent the Israeli flag, but I like the fact that they are similar to the colors on the Greek flag.…

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Annapolis news 

Gavin Buckley Wins Approval for Ferris Wheel

Gavin Buckley Wins Approval for Ferris Wheel Will have African Safari Theme Annapolis (SPP) – Mayor-elect, Gavin Buckley today announced that his administration had received assurances of approval and funding to build a Ferris Wheel and African Safari themed park in Annapolis. Ground breaking for the park is expected to start in May, 2018, on the site of the parking lot near the city dock in downtown Annapolis. The parking spaces will be replaced by an African style park where animals, such as leopards and elephants will roam freely among…

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Annapolis news 

Bin Laden Feared Fox News Guest

Bin Laden Feared Fox News Guest Annapolis man terrified terrorist   Washington (SPP) – As the Trump administration continues to release documents recovered in the Bin Laden raid, we are learning more and more about the deceased terror leader’s thinking. Most astonishing was the fact that it Bin Laden appears to have been most terrified of a Fox News guest and former Annapolis resident, Wayne Shelby Simmons. Simmons is currently in prison for fraud after prosecutors charged that he faked his entire 27 year CIA career. Letters and his personal…

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Annapolis news 

Annapolis Mayor Mike Pantelides Accepts Job at Chris’s Charcoal Pit

Annapolis Mayor Mike Pantelides Accepts Job at Chris’s Charcoal Pit Hopes to work for Public Works next Annapolis (SPP) – Recently defeated Annapolis City Mayor Mike Pantelides will have a new job when he leaves office in December. He reported today that he has accepted a job at Chris’s Charcoal Pit as a dish washer. “Yeah, I’m really excited,” Pantelides said today when asked about his new job at the Greek owned restaurant on West Street in Annapolis. “I hope to be promoted to cashier at some point so I…

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