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Annapolis Anne Arundel government national news 

Trump Uses Shutdown to End Public Housing

JakeConlan

Trump Uses Shutdown to End Public Housing Schuh races to bulldoze and replace with condos Annapolis (SPP) – City and County leaders responded with both horror and glee to a decision by the Trump administration to use the government shutdown to end Federally funded public housing in America. Citing the inability to pay for upkeep, the Trump administration announced today that it was unable to safely run the units. Accordingly, all public housing units will be bulldozed and auctioned off to pay government debt. The White House stated that they…

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Annapolis crime government news 

Stolen Valor: Pantelides Panhandles as a Vet

JakeConlan

Stolen Valor: Pantelides Panhandles as a Vet Reported to Feds; Indictment Looms   Annapolis (SPP) – The hits just keep on coming for former Annapolis Mayor Michael Pantelides. It seems like he is the guy who just can’t get a break. After losing his job as mayor in a humiliating defeat to Gavin Buckley, Pantelides had to take a job as a dish washer in a Greek restaurant, only to be fired after a DNA test revealed that he wasn’t Greek at all, but half-Turkish. Dumped by his girlfriend, disowned…

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Annapolis government news 

Annapolis City Council Rejects Buckley’s “Dream Act”

JakeConlan

Annapolis City Council Rejects Buckley’s “Dream Act” Rodriguez called bill “an insult.” Annapolis (SPP) – The Annapolis City Council meeting got heated last Monday when Mayor Gavin Buckley introduced his own “Dream Act” to the Council. While bills nationally by this name have focused on granting amnesty to people who were illegally brought to the US as children, Buckley’s bill had nothing to do with immigration. It’s one sentence text simply stated in large text, “Annapolitans are free to dream!!!!!!!!!” “When I came to Annapolis, I didn’t have a penny…

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Annapolis Anne Arundel crime government national news 

Maryland Democrats Accuse Schuh of Russian Ties

JakeConlan

Maryland Democrats Accuse Schuh of Russian Ties Anne Arundel County Executive Denies Charges Annapolis (SPP) – Maryland Democrats accused Anne Arundel County Executive Steve Schuh (R) of having Russian ties today. Kathleen Matthews, head of the Maryland Democrat Party, stated that she had “firm evidence” linking Mr. Schuh to the Kremlin. At a hastily organized press conference this afternoon, Matthews argued her case. “First, look at that ridiculous outfit, especially that hat, that he wore the other day while going door to door in Crofton. No proud American, who isn’t…

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Annapolis news sports 

Anne Arundel Basketball Team Continues to Struggle

JakeConlan

Anne Arundel Basketball Team Continues to Struggle Steve Schuh fired by Coach Adams Annapolis (SPP) – The Sailors, the Annapolis/Anne Arundel County Government Employee Basketball team, continues to struggle with no end in sight. First, they lost team center, Mike Pantelides, after he failed to get re-elected Mayor of Annapolis. Then Anne Arundel Sheriff Ron Bateman, the team’s shooting guard, was suspended for five games last week after he was again accused of domestic violence. And now, after the devastating loss to the Baltimore City Rioters, Coach Wes Adams fired…

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Annapolis news 

DNA Test Shows Pantelides Turkish, Not Greek

JakeConlan

DNA Test Shows Pantelides Turkish, Not Greek Lost Job at Greek Restaurant; Might Convert to Islam Annapolis (SPP) – As if 2017 wasn’t tough enough on former Annapolis Mayor Mike Pantelides, he got some upsetting news the other day when his DNA results came back from 23andme, the popular DNA testing company. Turns out, he isn’t Greek after all. “Man, I don’t know what to say. The whole thing has been devastating,” Pantelides said when reached for comment. “Here all this time I was told my family came from Cyprus,…

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Annapolis celebrity crime national news 

Subway Brings Back Jared as a Spokesman

JakeConlan

Subway Brings Back Jared as a Spokesman Company Hopes People Didn’t Know About Legal Difficulties Annapolis (SPP) – Faced with declining sales, Subway Restaurant announced a controversial new marketing strategy today involving Jared Fogle. Fogle came to fame in 2000, after losing 200 lbs on a Subway diet. He later went on to become a successful spokesman for the company and played a major role in driving sales. Fogle was later convicted in 2015 of possessing child pornography and was sentenced to 15 years in Federal Prison. After his arrest,…

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Annapolis national news 

Annapolis City Council Votes To Raise Taxes

JakeConlan

Annapolis City Council Votes To Raise Taxes Say it is a response to the “GOP Taxscam” Annapolis (SPP) – The Annapolis City Council voted last night to raise taxes in response to the Republican tax bill that recently passed Congress. Called the Tax Fairness Act, it imposes a 14% corporate income tax on city businesses. The GOP tax bill reduced corporate taxes from 35% to 21%. Similarly, using a complex formula, an income tax will be assessed on residents depending on how much they saved on their taxes. For example,…

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Annapolis news 

Buckley Makes Outback Steakhouse Slogan New City Motto

JakeConlan

Buckley Makes Outback Steakhouse Slogan New City Motto “No Rules, Just Right” to replace “Vixi Liber Et Moriar“ Annapolis (SPP) – Mayor Gavin Buckley surprised Annapolis residents today by announcing that he changed the City’s official motto, “Vixi Liber Et Moriar“, which is Latin for “I have lived, and I shall die, free” to “No Rules, Just Right” the slogan Outback Streakhouse used until 2007. “Outback is the best restaurant in Annapolis,” Buckley said, referring to the chain steakhouse which is technically located right outside of the city’s borders in…

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Annapolis news 

Police Warn of Tierney’s Holiday Contest

JakeConlan

Police Warn of Tierney’s Holiday Contest Say she could be ‘Grinch’ casing joints to rob Annapolis (SPP) – Ward One Alderwoman Elly Tierney announced this week that she is running a holiday lights contest in her district, with plans to give an award to the house with the best display. Normally this type of contest would go without controversy and even be welcomed, but Annapolis Police cautioned today that something more sinister could be afoot. “Over the last several years we have seen criminal gangs use Christmas lights contests as…

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