Taney Statue Replaced by Hogan and Franchot

Taney Statue Replaced by Hogan and Franchot
Pair came up with the idea while drinking Maryland beer

Annapolis (SPP) – St. Patrick’s Day came a little late for Maryland Governor Larry Hogan and Comptroller Peter Franchot this year. After a day of hard drinking yesterday, the duo came up with a replacement for the statute of Chief Justice Roger B. Taney, which was controversially removed by Hogan last August.

Taney was the first Marylander to serve as Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, but he was infamous for authoring the Dred Scott decision which declared that black Americans had no rights under the Constitution. Despite this, many felt that removing his statue was destroying history and criticized Hogan for the move.

“Peter [Franchot] and I had been drinking Maryland beer pretty hard all day yesterday. We were into a second case of Double Cannon IPA when we started to think of who to replace the Taney statue with,” Governor Larry Hogan told The Super Patriot Post. “I looked at Peter and decided it would be a great idea to have a statue of him for all that he does to control spending and to help the taxpayers.”

Franchot explained that he did not feel comfortable just having a statue to himself alone. “I told Larry that it would make more sense if we had a statue of both of ourselves, together, to show real bipartisanship,” Franchot said.

Governor Hogan, a Republican, and Comptroller Franchot, a Democrat, have become well known in Maryland for their friendship. “We get along so well,” Hogan explained, “because, despite our differences, we are both committed to the State, its people, and our economy. We like to believe that Republicans and Democrats have far more that unites us than divides us.”

The duo explained that rather than spend taxpayer money constructing a new statue, they decided to re-purpose an old one. “There’s a statue in Gettysburg with two Civil War soldiers, one Confederate and one Union helping each other. Peter and I both decided that it was inappropriate for Maryland to honor any Confederate soldiers. So we drove up to Gettysburg to grab that statue so we could alter it,” Hogan explained. “We had so much beer in us, we probably shouldn’t have been driving. But that’s okay. We didn’t get pulled over or have any accidents, despite a few close calls.”

Franchot and Hogan spent the night destroying the two heads on the statue and replacing them with 3D printed heads of themselves. “I know it doesn’t look that great,” Franchot conceded, “but the citizens can know when they look at it that no taxpayer money was used to create it.”

“I hope that it serves as a reminder to Marylanders for generations to come that we all can work together,” Hogan said.

Experts said they expect the statue to stand on the State House grounds for over a century until someone in the future removes it because they are offended by a view that was held by one or both of them.