Month: November 2017

Alderman Fred Paone Exposed as a Robot Sole Republican on the Council Actually Died in 2012 Annapolis (SPP) – Bad news for Republicans in Annapolis after it was revealed today that Alderman Fred Paone (Rep.) is a robot and thus ineligible to serve on the Annapolis City Council. The City Charter specifies that only living humans may hold office. This first came to light last night at the Annapolis Hanukkah Bush lighting when Paone, who was in the crowd, started to malfunction and fell to the ground. He was initially…

John Astle Tweets Then Deletes Disturbing Posts Many calling Tweets “unhinged” and “racist” Annapolis, (SPP) – State Senator and failed Democratic Mayoral Primary candidate may be nursing a sore hangover this morning. Astle, spotted last night at his favorite restaurant in Annapolis, Osteria 177, was spotted heavily drinking and was also seen playing with his Blackberry in the early morning hours. It seems that the retiring State Senator has some angry feelings about the out of control crime in Annapolis. Below are his Tweets that were deleted in the middle…

Annapolis Replaces Christmas Tree With Hanukkah Bush Mayor-Elect Buckley promises even more diversity next year Annapolis (SPP) – Old traditions usually die hard, but not this year. Outgoing Mayor Mike Pantelides surprised everyone by approving a plan to have the annual City Christmas tree replaced with a Hanukkah Bush. Speaking to reporters, Pantelides said, “Yeah, I really like the blue and white colors. I know that they are supposed to represent the Israeli flag, but I like the fact that they are similar to the colors on the Greek flag.…

Gavin Buckley Wins Approval for Ferris Wheel Will have African Safari Theme Annapolis (SPP) – Mayor-elect, Gavin Buckley today announced that his administration had received assurances of approval and funding to build a Ferris Wheel and African Safari themed park in Annapolis. Ground breaking for the park is expected to start in May, 2018, on the site of the parking lot near the city dock in downtown Annapolis. The parking spaces will be replaced by an African style park where animals, such as leopards and elephants will roam freely among…

Bin Laden Feared Fox News Guest Annapolis man terrified terrorist   Washington (SPP) – As the Trump administration continues to release documents recovered in the Bin Laden raid, we are learning more and more about the deceased terror leader’s thinking. Most astonishing was the fact that it Bin Laden appears to have been most terrified of a Fox News guest and former Annapolis resident, Wayne Shelby Simmons. Simmons is currently in prison for fraud after prosecutors charged that he faked his entire 27 year CIA career. Letters and his personal…

Annapolis Mayor Mike Pantelides Accepts Job at Chris’s Charcoal Pit Hopes to work for Public Works next Annapolis (SPP) – Recently defeated Annapolis City Mayor Mike Pantelides will have a new job when he leaves office in December. He reported today that he has accepted a job at Chris’s Charcoal Pit as a dish washer. “Yeah, I’m really excited,” Pantelides said today when asked about his new job at the Greek owned restaurant on West Street in Annapolis. “I hope to be promoted to cashier at some point so I…

Muslim Taxi Drivers Invade Annapolis – Report Former Police Chief Pristoop afraid to walk streets Annapolis (SPP) – Anyone who has read articles on the internet has heard about the hoards of Muslim taxi drivings terrorizing locals and tourists alike on the streets of Annapolis, Maryland. According to press reports on various websites, they are saying that they were sick of seeing so many drunks and uncovered women on the streets of the city, the men vowed to bring Allah and Sharia laws to the streets. Police apparently are not…